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"Conjoined Fetus Lady" is the 18th episode of Comedy Central's animated series South Park. It originally aired on June 3, 1998.


After being made fun of by the boys, Pip, for once, shows his anger and hits Kyle Broflovski with a ball during dodgeball. Kyle is sent to Nurse Gollum, the South Park Elementary nurse. Kyle is horrified to discover, however, that she has a dead fetus attached to her head, due to a condition called "Conjoined Twin Myslexia" (which is fictional but similar to a parasitic twin). Kyle tells the others. Upon hearing about this and the boys making fun of her, Kyle's mom Sheila sits the boys down and informs them about Nurse Gollum's condition: when a set of twins forms in the womb but one dies. She tells them that sometimes the dead twin is inside the live one, (a real disorder called fetus in fetu, as seen in Stephen King's The Dark Half) so each one of the boys might actually have a dead twin that they don't know about. This horrifies the children, including Stan who runs home and attempts to split his head open with an icepick, saying "I have to get it out". An irate Sharon Marsh calls Sheila on the phone, questions her and tells her angrily "next time you want to scare the hell out of my child, just go and sit in the road until a truck runs you over instead." Sheila, who, in order to remedy the unawareness apparent in people of Conjoined Twin Myslexia, decides to help the woman, and winds up causing a "Conjoined Twin Myslexia Week" declared in South Park for its sole sufferer.

Meanwhile, the school dodgeball team becomes eligible for competitions, and goes on to fight the State Competition in Denvermarker. In the match, Denver is expected to win because they always beat South Park. South Park ends up winning because Pip, the Britishmarker exchange student, becomes filled with rage whenever kids incorrectly call him "French", giving him the strength to take down the other team. The team takes advantage of this anger as a result. In the National competition, the Washington, D.C. team forfeits because of their fear of the inevitable international opponent, China (who are brutal and merciless at dodgeball). In China, South Park discovers the Chinese kids to be unstoppable, and the team is crushed (in Kenny's case, literally) until only Pip remains.

Pip, however, manages to win when Kevin tricks the Chinese into calling him French; he single-handedly annihilates the entire Chinese team with one throw, but by this point everyone has decided they don't want to play dodgeball anyway and he gets no credit for it. Back home, the townspeople have donned hats that make them appear to have fetuses on their heads and also read "Go Cows" (the dodgeball team), held a parade for Nurse Gollum, and videotaped her constantly. She angrily declares that she does not want any extra attention or special treatment, and that by doing so they make her feel singled out. She says she only wants to be harassed and ridiculed just like everybody else in the town and storms away. Principal Victoria and Sheila declare her a "ungrateful bitch", but the kids begin to question if the fetus actually makes her smarter.

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