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John Stoltenberg (1945-) is an Americanmarker radical feminist activist, scholar, author, and magazine editor. He is the managing editor of AARP the Magazine, a bimonthly publication of the United Statesmarker-based interest group AARP (formerly American Association of Retired Persons), a position he has held since 2004. Although he formed a relationship with and eventually married Andrea Dworkin, he considers himself gay.


He holds degrees in divinity and fine arts. He is well known as a feminist activist and author. He has written a series of books and articles criticizing traditional concepts of manhood or maleness, such as "Refusing to Be a Man: Essays on Sex and Justice" (Meridian, 1990), "Why I Stopped Trying to be a Real Man," [69527] and "The End of Manhood: A Book for Men of Conscience" (Penguin USA/Plume, 1994).

He created "the Pose Workshop," which entailed men adopting the poses that women strike in pornographic shots (intended partly for men attending Christian retreats), a version of which was broadcast on BBC television. He was Andrea Dworkin's life partner for thirty-one years. They began living together in 1974; in 1998 they married. He was a founder of the group 'Men Can Stop Rape' [69528] and conceived and creative directs the group's 'My Strength' [69529] campaign which aims to educate young men on sexual relationships, consent and rape.

Stoltenberg is credited with the quote "Pornography tells lies about women. But pornography tells the truth about men." The quote is from the essay The Forbidden Language of Sex in his book "Refusing to Be a Man: Essays on Sex and Justice" (Meridian, 1990).


  • Refusing to be a Man (orig. 1989) ISBN 1-84142-041-7
  • The End of Manhood: A Book for Men of Conscience (1993) ISBN 0-525-93630-0
  • What Makes Pornography "Sexy"? (1994) ISBN 1-57131-201-3
  • The End of Manhood: Parables on Sex and Selfhood (1999) ISBN 1-85728-325-2




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