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This is a list of episodes of QI, the BBC comedy panel game television programme hosted by Stephen Fry. Series F was the first series to broadcast originally on BBC One, starting on 9 January 2009, with the exception of two episodes: one made for Children in Need, which was broadcast on BBC Two on 14 November 2008, and a Christmas special, transmitted on 22 December 2008 on BBC One.

The rest of the series began on 9 January 2009 on BBC One, with an extended version of the show (known as QI XL) shown on BBC Two the following day.

The first series started on 11 September 2003. Although not mentioned at the time, all of the questions (with the exception of the final "general ignorance" round) were on subjects beginning with "a" (such as "arthropods", "Alans" and "astronomy"). The following four series continued the theme: the second series' subjects all began with "b", and so on.

The dates in the lists are those of the BBC One broadcasts. The episodes were also broadcast on BBC Four, generally a week earlier (as soon as one episode finished on BBC Two, the next was shown on BBC Four). Aside from Alan Davies and not adding clip shows, there are seven guests that have appeared in ten or more episodes (out of 73), they are: Jo Brand (21), Rich Hall (18), Phill Jupitus (18), Bill Bailey (15), Sean Lock (17), Jimmy Carr (12) and Clive Anderson (12). Excluding the Pilot there have been a total of 68 different guest panellists in the six series to date.

F Series (2008)

Whereas the previous series had seen only two new guests, series F featured new guests in most of the episodes. They were; Pam Ayres, Marcus Brigstocke, Hugh Dennis, Reginald D. Hunter, Dom Joly, Ben Miller, John Sergeant, Emma Thompson and Sir Terry Wogan. Wogan was the first guest in the show's history to have previously received a knighthood.

Originally, the main bonus of the series, following on from the "E" Series' "Elephant in the Room" was to be the "Fanfare", where if any of the panellists said something particularly interesting a fanfare would sound. In the end, this only appeared in the final episode when David Mitchell was talking about French and Russian dinner service. It was styled as the "Teacher's Pet" prize. The only other time it was mentioned was in the extended version of "the Future" episode, when Stephen says that if any of the panellists knew the answer "I'll reward you with 2 fanfares".

The Children in Need special was the last edition of QI to be originally transmitted on BBC Two. All the others were shown on BBC One, starting with the Christmas special on 22 December 2008, with the series proper commencing on 9 January 2009. This transfer of networks also brought about the broadcasting of extended versions – called 'QI XL' – on BBC Two the following day (as per Have I Got News for You since 2007). This was the first series of QI not to be produced by John Lloyd. The role was taken by Piers Fletcher.

This series was the first to be broadcast in Australia, with the "Flotsam and Jetsam" episode being broadcast on 20th October, 2009 on ABC1.

Episode 1 "Families" (Children in Need special)

Broadcast date:
  • 14 November 2008


Recording date:
  • 5 June 2008


Panellists:


Buzzers:


Theme:
  • The show initially began with Pudsey Bear, the Children in Need mascot, in the place of Terry Wogan, but Pudsey was ousted from his chair after the introductions were given.


Topics:
  • The panellists are asked to tell some old wives' tales. Terry's grandmother used to say that "Love flies out the window when poverty walks in the door", and "It doesn't matter whether you rich or whether you are poor, as long as you have money". Other ones included "cheese gives you bad dreams", "a crow follows a busy squirrel" and "eating your crusts puts hairs on your chest". The most common ones seem to be about either catching a cold or going blind.
  • The Foundling Hospital which cared for children, founded by Thomas Coram, got much of its money from composer George Frideric Handel and artist William Hogarth. The hospital was so successful that the only way you could get your child in was by a lottery. In 1756, the government arranged it, so that all children were allowed in. Most of the human race lived with unspeakable suffering, especially for children.
Tangent: In the 18th century, 75% of all children died before they were five years old. 90% of all children born in workhouses died before they were five years old.
Tangent: Terry claims that while the last Children in Need raised around £35 million, in order to make a real difference, the charity appeal would need to raise £150 million.
  • Mothers who have had children who are more likely to bite the heads off Jelly Babies. 3 million Jelly Babies are eaten every week. The powdery substance on the Jelly Babies is starch, used to get the jelly out of the mould.
Tangent: According to Terry, Ann Widdecombe once said, "Hungry? I'd eat a baby's arse through a wickerwork chair".
  • Contrary to popular belief, a mother does not create a bond with her newborn baby by keeping in close proximity to the infant after birth. In the days immediately following birth, an infant is unable to distinguish the cries of its mother from the cries of a rhesus monkey. Once the infant is a few weeks old, it develops the ability to recognise the smell of its mother, allowing mother-child bonding to begin.
Tangent: The panellists discuss the ageing process, as it pertains to toilet training and incontinence.
Tangent: It's believed that 90% of attention you receive in your lifetime, is received under the age of 3.
Tangent: You do not have to have lived in a country in order to represent it in the Eurovision Song Contest. It is a contest for songwriters of particular nationalities rather than the singers themselves. The most famous example being the Canadian Celine Dion, who represented Switzerland. Johnny Logan, the Australian, won twice for Ireland. His father, Patrick O'Hagan, was an Irish tenor. English is the most successful language in the Eurovision Song Contest, with 20½ winners, if you include bi-lingual songs.
Tangent: The Frenchmarker criticised their own song in this year's contest, Divine, by Sébastien Tellier, because it was sung in English, mentioning that it has turned from Lingua franca to Anglophone, which leads to Ronni suggesting that an "English tax" should be made for foreigners wanting to speak English.


General Ignorance:


Other:
In discussing old wives tales, David Mitchell is censored while saying "wanking" and then "wankers", which is not normally done on post-watershed broadcasts in Britain. One possible reason could be in the context of airing the episode as part of a broadcasting event traditionally aimed at a family audience, even though QI itself was broadcast in the usual time slot. (The sound effect used to cover up the words is not the usual bleep but a quacking sound, indicating that it may be removed from repeat screenings and the DVD release). Interestingly, later in the episode, he plainly uses the word "shit" without censorship.

Episode 2 "Fire & Freezing" (Christmas special)

Broadcast date:
  • 22 December 2008
Recording date:
  • 29 May 2008


Panellists:


Buzzers:


Theme:
  • The panel are all dressed in winter clothing such as scarves and woolly hats.


Topics:
  • In Native American smoke signals, one puff usually meant "Hello" and two puffs usually meant "All's well". However, the meaning of signals did differ from place to place.
Tangent: Wet straw is used to make the smoke black in the Vatican whenever a new Pope has not been elected.
Tangent: For centuries in Britain, the signals used in case of invasion were flaming beacons.
  • Communicating with paper fans came about in the 19th century in France. A booklet was made of signals that users could make to each other – this was probably designed to increase fan sales. To swing the fan around means, "I love another", and closing the fan slowly means, "I promise to marry you". Fans were invented in China, and were brought into Europe via Italy by Marco Polo.
  • Nothing has happened to the fireman's pole. There are many stories printed in the newspapers about poles being removed for health and safety reasons, but it is completely wrong. The main reason why there are fewer poles nowadays is because most modern fire stations are built with just one floor, so no pole is needed. The longest fireman's pole in Europe is in Birminghammarker, measuring long. (Forfeit: health and safety gone mad)
Tangent: The fire brigade was invented by insurance companies. When you took out the insurance, you got a metal plaque which you put in the wall of your house saying which company was protecting your house. If your house did catch fire, fire brigades would come from all the insurance companies, but they'd turn around and go back if you didn't have a plaque from their company. If you had no plaque, then your fire would not be put out, that is unless your next-door neighbour had a plaque, in which case your fire was put out to prevent their property catching fire too.
Tangent: Rob explains, in a very long-winded and deliberately patronising way, that smoke tends to kill people before the fire does, This is because smoke makes it harder to breathe.
Tangent: When striking a match, always strike it away from you, otherwise the flash point will come towards you and might cause you to catch fire. Alan was once told about an old woman who died when striking a match towards her. Dom says that one contributing factor to the death may have been urine, because a property of dried urine is that it is flammable.
Tangent: A popular expression in Australia is, "I wouldn't piss up his arse if his kidneys were on fire."
  • The worst thing you can do if you are a fire eater is to inhale, as this causes 'Fire eaters lung'. Fire-eating is as bad as it looks and it causes terrible damage to the mouth. It is more akin to fire spitting than eating because the mouth is filled with (which is toxic) and then spat into the fire.
  • During the Second World War, there was a plan to make an aircraft carrier from substance made from ice and sawdust called "Pykrete". Pykrete is stronger than steel and does not melt. Lord Louis Mountbatten convinced Winston Churchill to make a pykrete aircraft carrier after he threw some in Churchill's bath and showed him that it did not melt in his hot bath water. The proposed ship would have had guns on it that would fire super-cooled water to immobilise the enemy, and could be repaired using seawater. However, the ship was never made because of the Normandy Landings.
Tangent: Dom correctly points out that the ship in the picture shown to accompany the question is not an aircraft carrier, but a destroyer.
  • The original Twelve Days of Christmas, does not contain the famous theme "Five Gooold Rings". A man called Frederic Austin changed the way people sang the line "Five gold rings" to the version we know now, and this version of the line is still copyrighted today, so whenever it is played you owe Novello & Co money. (Forfeit: Five Goooold Rings)
Tangent: Stephen talks about games such as, "In my trunk" in which one person says "In my trunk I have..." followed by an item. The next person then has to say the same line and then add another item. Each person in turn then has to memorise the list, in order, before adding another item. The game finishes when someone cannot remember the whole list. Stephen's favourite version is called "Christopher Biggins has got up his bottom tonight", in which one person says that line before adding a celebrity's name (Stephen contributes the suggestion Arnold Schwarzenegger) and then the next person repeats it, before adding another whose first name begins with the last letter of the previous surname. On his own, Alan adds the names Rodney Bewes, Steve Davis and Simon Schama.


General Ignorance:
  • When you blow out a candle, there is a drop in temperature that causes the fire to go out. Fire needs three things to work: oxygen, heat and fuel. Trick candles use a wick that is made out of a material which burns at a low temperature, this is the reason they are hard to blow out.
Tangent: Rob comes from Port Talbotmarker in Wales, the same town as Richard Burton, Anthony Hopkins and Michael Sheen. Rob's father and Anthony Hopkins grew up in the same street. Stephen says that English people grew up in houses.
  • Yes or no: "You know how sometimes it can be too cold to snow?" The answer is no. While it is true that you need some moisture in the air to snow and that there is less moisture when it is very cold, snow has been recorded at −41° and −50° Celsius. The only temperature where it is too cold to snow is absolute zero, where nothing happens at all. (Forfeit: Yes)
Tangent: −40° Celsius and −40° Fahrenheit are the same. This is the point where the two scales meet.


Episode 3 "Flotsam & Jetsam"

Broadcast date:
  • 9 January 2009


Recording date:
  • 12 June 2008


Panellists:


Buzzers:


Topics:
  • Each of the team is given a nautical flag.
    • Charlie: R for Romeo – "The way is off my ship".
    • Andy: Z for Zulu – "I require a tug".
    • Rob: J for Juliet – "I am on fire" or "I am leaking".
    • Alan: D for Delta – "Keep clear of me; I am manoeuvring with difficulty".
    • Stephen: U for Uniform – "You are running into danger".
Other flags include O for Oscar, which means man overboard, N for November, which means no and F for Foxtrot which means "I am disabled; communicate with me".
Tangent: When Andy was on The News Quiz, with a person who did sign language, the person referred to Bill Clinton by undoing his zip.
Tangent: Stephen was in America, where he claimed they use a crooked index finger to represent the letter R, so 2 R's one with each hand and created as if drawing pistols from imaginary holsters represented Ronald Reagan. Rob said girls often implied he had a small penis by signing a single letter R to him too.
  • There are 4 classes of maritime wreckage according to the act created in 1995. The difference between Flotsam and jetsam is that flotsam is wreckage from a shipwreck and jetsam is purposely ed thrown off a boat. Lagan is cargo at the bottom of the sea often marked by a buoy that can be retrieved later, but derelict can't be retrieved.
  • According to his autobiography, "Boy Wonder: My Life In Tights", Burt Ward (who played Robin in the Batman TV series) claimed he had sex with his fan girls which he called "the Ultimate Autograph, signed with Bat-Sperm". It was also claimed in the book that Batman watched. Stephen mistakes this and at first believes he actually signed autographs in his own sperm.
Tangent: Rob claims that it's not unusual in the world of showbiz to watch your contemporaries and co-stars having sex. Charlie tries to claim that it happened all the time on Dad's Army.
  • The world's biggest flasher in terms of an animal is the Dana Octopus Squid, found in the North Pacific Oceanmarker, which flashes light all over its body. The biggest natural flasher is found in the mouth of the Catatumbo River in Venezuelamarker. For 10 hours a night, up to 280 times an hour for 180 days of the year, a lightning storm is seen, which is also the biggest contributor of ozone in the world.
  • The Borgia pope, Pope Alexander VI had naked prostitutes grovelling on the floor for chestnuts during the Feast of the Chestnuts. Another pope in trouble was Pope Formosus, who was succeeded by Pope Stephen VI had his body dug up and put on trial with people moving his arms around during the proceedings, while Stephen yelled at the corpse. Even a ventriloquist was used to make him speak to deny his charges. He then had his 3 fingers that he used for papal blessings cut off from his skeleton and was to be reburied in a common grave. But after Stephen was deposed, imprisoned and strangled, his successor Pope John IX rescued Formosus' body from the common grave and reburied it in a papal grave again.


General Ignorance:
  • It is officially unknown who invented rugby football, but a memorial to William Webb Ellis states that "with a fine disregard to the rules of the game, he first picked up the ball and ran", which implies that he was playing football; however football wasn't codified until after rugby had been invented. William Webb Ellis died three years after the story was first told. In the original football rules, outfield players as well as the goalkeepers were allowed to catch the ball. (Forfeit: William Webb Ellis)
  • James Bond's job was an intelligence officer, because in the British Secret Servicemarker, an agent was an informant to other intelligence officers and aren't officially staff. (Forfeit: Secret Agent)
Tangent: When Sean Connery applied for the part of James Bond in the films, Ian Fleming and the producers said that he "walked like a panther".
Tangent: The difference between a walk and a gait is that a gait is an instantly recognisable walk, which could even be someone standing still. This leads to a discussion of Liam Gallagher and Mick Jagger's gaits and Jagger and Ian McShane being "arse-less".
  • A description of the maximum number of folds a sheet of paper can sustain is given by the following . The formula was discovered by a girl called Britney Gallivan who, demonstrating its application, folded a sheet of long toilet roll 12 times. (Forfeit: 7, 8)


:
W = \pi t 2^{(3/2)\left(n-1\right)}.

:
L = \frac{\pi t}{6}\left(2^{n}+4\right)\left(2^{n}-1\right).

W is width, L is length and t is thickness of paper.
  • Since 1997, if the Union Flag is seen flying at Buckingham Palacemarker, it means that the Queen isn't home. The Royal Standard is flown when the Queen is home. It came about after the death of Diana, Princess of Walesmarker. Since there was no flag to fly at half-mast and it was seen as against all to fly the Royal Standard at half-mast, no flag was flying. After the controversy that this caused, it was decided that if someone of national significance has died the Union Flag can be placed at half-mast instead.
(Forfeit: The Queen is at home)
Tangent: Andy believes that in the film, The Queen (which documents the infamous week after Diana's death from the point of view of the royals), it was unrealistic that the Queen would shoo rather than shoot a stag. One detail of the film that Stephen found odd was the Duke of Edinburgh's pet name for her; 'Cabbage'. Alan suggests it's because she smells like cabbage.
Tangent: When David Walliams met the Queen with his mother after he swam the English Channelmarker, the Duke of Edinburgh asked his mother if there were any more nutters in the family.


QI XL extras:
Tangent: The most famous flag signal was used in the Battle of Trafalgarmarker in 1805, when Lord Nelson asked for the signal "Nelson confides that every man should do his duty", (confides meant "has faith in" in those days) but "Nelson" and "confides" weren't flags, but "England" and "expects" were flags, so it became "England expects that every man should do his duty".
  • The organisation most responsible for burning the American flag is the Boy Scouts of America, because if any of their flags get dirty, they consider the best way of disposing with it with dignity is to burn it.
Tangent: Andy went to a Scout Jamboree in Sweden, where they camped next to the American Scouts, who every morning raised their flag in a ceremony, which to the British was annoying, so they stole the flag and hid it in the woods, which made the Americans even threaten to leave the Jamboree.
Tangent: Officially the Union Jack is only called the "Union Jack" if it's flying from a boat. Otherwise, it's called the Union Flag. The only U.S. state with a Union Jack in its flag is Hawaiimarker. Correction: According to a parliamentary statement, the Union Jack can be used as the correct name for the Union Flag anywhere, not just at sea.
Tangent: If you find any shipwrecked piece of wreckage, you are fined £2,500 and you have to pay twice the value of it to the owner of the ship as well as having salvage rights to own the wreckage.
Tangent: When Alan was filming Jonathan Creek at an estate full of pheasants, they fed the pheasants from their truck and one morning the best boy ran over six of them, but because someone else picked them up, they could keep them.
Tangent: In Australia, dead kangaroos are often found at the side of the road because they try and drink water gathered on the side of the roads, so they come to drink it. Rob hoped that no-one knew the answer, but was annoyed that Alan knew it, because he saw it happen.
Tangent: Lightning goes up and down, which sometimes explains why dead groups of tourists are seen in photographs as the lightning is about to discharge.
  • The Northern Lights have been recorded as far south as Rome in the 1850s, mainly because of the radiation that come from the solar winds. The Southern Lights are known as the "Aurora Australis".
Tangent: Alan was in Edmontonmarker, Canada when he saw a thunderstorm with some people and was told by them when to come in from the torrential downpours that would occur.
Tangent: Alan was in Ayers Rockmarker when he was caught up in a storm in a helicopter and Rob was caught up in a light aircraft in Sydney, while on a picnic and couldn't land in a storm, so had to land somewhere else and get a bus back to Sydney, where he only 45 minutes late for a Rod Stewart concert.
  • The East German Secret Police wanted to keep tabs on all its dissidents by keeping a database on all of them by keeping their smells collected by yellow rags under their arms and groins, as well as from a chair that they sat on. The day the Berlin Wallmarker came down, the Stasi headquarters were broken in and all the rags were taken, which then became underwear for the smell collection. But in 2007, the unified German police started doing it again with new suspects.


General Ignorance:
  • Bedfordshire is like Uzbekistanmarker and Liechtensteinmarker, because they are all doubly landlocked (the only obvious difference being that Bedfordshire is a county, while the other two are countries). This means one must go through another landlocked county / country before reaching one with a coastline. Non-metropolitan Northamptonshiremarker would also be doubly landlocked if it didn't have a 19 yard border with Lincolnshiremarker. Nebraskamarker and Kansasmarker are examples of doubly landlocked states. The West Midlands is also doubly landlocked. This leads into an argument created by Stephen, that the West Midlands is not a true county because it is not what he considers a true shire.


Episode 4 "Fight or Flight"

Broadcast date:
  • 16 January 2009


Recording date:
  • 19 May 2008


Panellists:


Theme:
  • As part of the "Fight or Flight" theme, some of the panellists wore flying clothing. The buzzers were operated by joysticks.


Topics:
  • Most footage of skydiving seems to show that the parachute lifts the parachutist upward when deployed. This is an optical illusion caused by the cameraman filming the parachutist falling faster, so his subject appears to be going up relative to him.
Tangent: The world record for the highest skydive is 32,000m. (roughly 18 miles) He achieved a speed of 614 miles per hour.
Tangent: Pam was a WAAF in Singaporemarker and Germanymarker during the 1960s where she worked in the drawing department because she liked drawing. However, the drawing department involved working with mathematics and maps which she was not good at. She learned during her time as a WAFF that when calculating the scale on aerial photographs, it is useful if there is a cricket pitch on it, as the standard length of the pitch is equal to 22 yards. You need to know the focal length of the camera in order to perform the calculation.
Tangent: Johnny tried to prove that Pam was thinking that she saw a duck flying, instead of a flying fish, but her sister breeds ducks, so she knew the difference.
  • The opposite of the flying fish is a swimming bird, which in other words, is the penguin. To a scientist, swimming and flying are the same, because it uses the same muscles and principles, with the only difference being that one is in water and the other is in the air.
  • Women are the best fly fishers as women hold the Britishmarker records for the largest fish caught. There is a myth that was generated by a man in a fishing magazine that female pubic hair will attract fish because they give off pheromones, but humans don't give off any pheromones at all. The reason that the myth has become so widespread is that if a man had held the record, no-one would care as much.
  • A bear would always win a fight against a lion as the lion's skull is very thin and although it is very muscular, has very little strength, so before the lion could attack the bear's neck, the bear would crush the skull first. This was proven by a man who brought a lion and a bear to Californiamarker during the Gold Rush as a means of entertaining the prospectors and miners. They had bears fighting against various other animals such as s, for example, but because the bear always won, they shipped in an African lion, but the bear still won. (Forfeit: Lions)
Tangent: Pam claims her father was boxer who took a horseshoe everywhere with him as he was superstitious, so he put it in his glove during fights.
  • It is easier to kill people wearing boxing gloves, than it is without. Bare-knuckled boxers will break their hands if they hit their opponent's jaw, so they aim for the chest and torso. Wearing gloves means that if you hit your opponent in the face you will not be harmed. Only two people have ever been recorded as died from bare-knuckle boxing related injuries. In the United States, four people every year die of gloved boxing injuries.
Tangent: Alan Minter once famously said, "Sure, there have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."
  • Vikings, including Flóki Vilgerðarson, used ravens to find nearby land while at sea. If there was land nearby, it would fly straight toward it. If there was no land to be seen, it would land back on the boat, but because they can't land on water. The bird had to be non-migratory and couldn't land on the water. The raven was also the first bird to be used by Noah, before the dove. Vilgerðarson, who is also known as "Raven Flóki", because by using this method, he discovered Icelandmarker.
  • Rockets accelerate best horizontally, as their weight is not over the thruster, so they generate lift. (Forfeit: Downwards)
Tangent: Sean remembers that during protests at RAF Greenham Commonmarker, some radical feminists claimed the missiles were deliberately shaped like penises as a symbol of typical male aggression. He then points out that that shape is the most aerodynamic, and that they wouldn't travel very far if they were shaped like vaginas


General Ignorance
Tangent: You can tell which member of the Guards a soldier is in by the spacing of the buttons. Evenly spaced buttons mean that they are in the Grenadier Guards. When the buttons are in pairs, they are in the Coldstream Guards. Threes represent the Scots Guards, fours the Irish Guards and fives the Welsh Guards. Pam's father was in the Grenadier Guards.
Tangent: When Winston Churchill was Prime Minister in the 1950s, he was told about a scandal about a backbench MP who was caught in St. James's Parkmarker having sex with a Guardsman. Churchill asked if it was cold the previous night. The man giving him the news told him it was one of the coldest February nights in 30 years, to which Churchill said, "Makes you proud to be British."


QI XL extras
Tangent: Examples of other fights that could have taken place, such as Muhammad Ali against Bruce Lee, which Ali would always win, because his punches are much faster than Lee's kicks, mainly because the kicks are speeded up in his films. Also, Ali has a superior height and weight advantage. Ali was 6' 3" and 236lbs, whereas Lee was 5' 7" and 135lbs. Punches also come in flurries, whereas you only do one kick at a time.
Tangent: The 2 boxers in the boxing glove question are James J. Jeffries and Jack Johnson. Jeffries retired, so Johnson, known as "The Galvestonmarker Giant", became the first black heavyweight champion of the world, which wasn't liked much during the racist times, so Jack London, the author of White Fang, coined the phrase "Great White Hope" for Jeffries, who came out of retirement to fight Johnson, hoping to "prove that a white man will always be better than a black man", but he was soundly beaten by Johnson. That match took place on July 4, 1910. Johnson later opened a nightclub in Harlemmarker.
Tangent: A film was made about him, and in it, he married a white woman, but he went to another U.S. state, where a black person wasn't allowed to be with a white person.
  • The panellists are shown a clip of a shadow of a bird with a short head and a long tail going one way and then the clip is wound back to make it look like a bird with a long neck and a short tail is seen and are asked which would scare a duckling more. The interesting thing is that ducklings can recognise fear of shapes as soon as they're born. The first bird would frighten it, because it would look like a hawk, but the second one looks like a goose and as they don't attack, it would experience no fear from it.
Tangent: Pam's brother-in-law has a gander which has a nasty disposition, in which he has to approach it with a dustbin lid to protect himself.
Tangent: A hawk would probably beat a goose in a fight, but geese can frighten nearly everything away. Alan once saw a swan chase a goose in Clissold Parkmarker and frighten many of the visitors away.
Tangent: Johnny's flying helmet makes Stephen think that he looks like the pigeon in Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines, although Stephen mistook it for Wacky Races. Also, Stephen interprets (with dubious seriousness) a flying dream of Johnny's to mean that he is gay.
Tangent: Alan reveals the time he bought a massive rocket for Guy Fawkes Night, which because he stuffed the rocket in the earth, it only got 10 feet in the air before exploding.
Tangent: Alan reveals the time when a nest of ducklings were on his roof and they jumped off the side, but because they are so light, they just floated down onto the ground.


General Ignorance


Other
Pam's score was not read out on the show. However, according to comments made by the show's producer Piers "Flash" Fletcher on QI's web forum, she scored 8 points.

Episode 5 "France"

Broadcast date:
  • 23 January 2009


Recording date:
  • 13 May 2008


Panellists:


Buzzers:


Theme:
  • As part of the "France" theme, every panellist wore a beret and a garland of onions around their necks. A re-arrangement of the theme tune featured an accordion. The top of the set is lit in the colours of the tricolour.


Topics:
Tangent: Alan loses five points at the start for saying "mon tête" when talking about removing his onions from around his neck. Heads are feminine in French, so it should be "ma tête". In French, the word "vagina" is masculine.
It ought to be noted that shortly before deducting points from Alan for saying "mon tête", Stephen said "champignons musicales", which is incorrect due to "champignons" (mushrooms) being masculine (the correct masculine plural or "musical" is "musicaux").
  • Stephen begins by awarding bonus points to anyone who can answer him in French. Hugh responds by saying "Oui" and Jo by saying "Non".
  • Alan fails to answer the following question correctly: "Donne-moi un mot, s'il vous plait, un mot pour un mammifère marin qui ne peut avaler aucun plus grand qu'un pamplemousse?" The question translates as, "Name a marine animal that couldn't swallow anything bigger than a grapefruit?" The answer is the Blue Whale. As with the rest of Stephen's attempt at French, this is pretty awful. For one thing, saying "donne" to someone and then saying "s'il vous plaît" is a ludicrous mixing of informal and formal usage, but the actual question should have been (assuming Stephen and Alan call each other "tu") "Donne-moi un mot, s'il te plaît, d'un mammifère marin qui ne peut rien avaler de plus grand qu'un pamplemousse."
  • The panel are shown a picture of some Frenchmen on stilts in the middle of a swamp and are asked what they are doing. They are looking for sheep – the people in the picture are shepherds and stand on stilts to see further on ground that is not solid. The picture was taken in Les Landes, found in the area of Gasconymarker, south of Bordeauxmarker. This was used right up to the 20th century. Today, the people of Les Landes dance on their stilts.
Tangent: One French shepherd walked all the way to Parismarker on his stilts and the climbed the Eiffel Towermarker on them, and then walked to Moscowmarker on them in 58 days, which is 1,830 miles away.
Tangent: Jo asked a man in the Aran Islandsmarker, near Galwaymarker, what he did during the winter. He said, "Fishing and fisting".
Tangent: Hugh jokes that the difference between the French kiss and a Belgianmarker kiss is that the Belgian kiss has more phlegm (a play on the Belgiun-Dutch language Flemish).
  • Because the French language has only a quarter of the words that English does, French people often use English words but often mistranslate them. For example "un people" means "celebrity", "un brushing" means "blow-dry", "un relooking" means "makeover" and "vaseliner" means "to flatter" (derived from the phrase "to butter someone up"). The Académie française does not include English words in French dictionaries.
Tangent: A picture used to accompany the question above is of a stereotypical Englishman and a Frenchman. However, Phill claims that the Frenchman looks more like Arthur Daley. The Frenchman looks like he has dropped his cigarette, but Stephen claims it might have been blanked out because of anti-smoking laws. Jo says the only advert she would do would be for cigarettes, with the slogan, "They're bloody lovely, and you might not get cancer."
  • Paris syndrome (first described with a picture of Paris Hilton (whom Stephen didn't recognise)) is a form of culture shock suffered by people from Japanmarker. Japanese tourists are taught that France is one of the most cultured places in the world. The problem is that most things the French do are things the Japanese find very hard. The Japanese also walk everywhere, suffer from jetlag, and everything in the French language sounds offensive to them. On average, 12 people per year are expensively repatriated to Japan. The Japanese Embassy in Parismarker has a 24-hour helpline for people who are so traumatised by the horrible experience of visiting Paris.
Tangent: Hugh claims that in the French medical system, the first thing doctors give you, no matter what you suffer from, is a suppository.
Tangent: The aggressive Frenchman in the photograph accompanying the question is the wrestler André the Giant, who also starred in the film The Princess Bride.
Tangent: With his glasses and beret, Phill claims that Stephen looks like Benny Hill.
Tangent: Someone once put a program on Google so what when you typed "French military victories" the search engine came back with the response, "Did you mean 'French military defeats'?".


General Ignorance:
  • The Romans liked to wear sandals. Although they wore togas, they hated wearing because they were large and difficult to put on. Augustus passed a law ordering people to wear togas in the Roman Forummarker. There were several kinds of toga: the toga pulla was a dark toga, the toga picta was patterned and the toga candida was white. "Candida" is where we get the word "Candidate" from, because they were worn by Romans running in an election. (Forfeit: Togas)
Tangent: Alan once hosted a toga party, where the guests wore sheets instead of proper togas. Alan's friend Danny wore a pink sheet with the words "Pontin's Holidays" embroidered on it.
Tangent: Hugh once took part in a stage of the Tour de France. Out of 8,000 people, 4,000 finished the course. Hugh started in 2,400th place and finished in 3,400th place. It took him eleven hours to complete the stage and nine hours to catch up with a man with one leg.
  • Most Spaniardsmarker do not lisp when they speak, in the sense of having a speech impediment that causes them to substitute /θ/ for /s/. It is actually a feature of pronunciation in the Castilian dialect to distinguish the two phonemes /θ/ and /s/. However some dialects only have the /θ/ sound and not the /s/, (ceceo) and this is considered bumpkinish by other Spaniards. It is no different to the way that Northern English people speak differently from Southern English people. (Forfeit: To Avoid Embarrassing The King)
Tangent: When "The Terminator" was translated into German, Arnold Schwarzenegger asked if he could dub himself as it was his native language. He was not allowed because it was argued that as he was Austrian, he sounded like a farmer.
  • The man who won the Battle of Hastingsmarker was called by people at the time as Guillaume le Batard – William the Bastard. The name "William" did not exist at the time so the French mostly called him Guillaume and the English probably referred to him as "The Bastard" – it was not rude to do so. When the Bayeux Tapestry was made, the name "William" was beginning to develop and it was written as "Wilgelm". All Saxon names disappeared about 50 years after the Norman Conquest. One in every seven men in England was called "William" within 50 years of the invasion. (Forfeit: William The Conqueror)


QI XL extras:
Tangent: Alan starts a debate about whether the panellists are accurately representing the French with their outfits. He "claims" that he's wearing ladies knickers, which makes it more accurate. Phill claims they look more like the cast in the film, "The Wild Geese".
Tangent: As soon as the picture of the elephant appeared on the screen, Alan pulled out his "Elephant in the Room" card from the previous series, much to Stephen's great surprise. Even though the bonus had expired, Stephen still decided to give Alan 10 points for displaying the card.
  • The Impressionists were described as "a bunch of lunatics and a woman". The woman was Berthe Morisot. Nowadays, they are described as the most luscious paintings anywhere, but at the time that the impressionist movement was founded, nearly everyone thought their paintings were horrific, unfinished, non-sensical, drivel, artless and valueless and the word "impressionist" was used as an insult by a critic. The main reason why the impressionist movement started was because of Japanmarker. Many of the Japanese artefacts came into Europe after Japan re-opened its borders in the 1850s and many Britishmarker and Parisians were obsessed with it and with the wrapping paper they came in. Vincent van Gogh had a massive collection of Japanese prints.
Tangent: During Stephen's talk, Alan tries to unfold his beret over his head and then expand it, making it look like he's wearing a mitre of a minister of the Greek Orthodox Church.
Tangent: After he finished his A-Levels at 18, Hugh and some his friends went to Paris for a week and visited the Galerie nationale du Jeu de Paumemarker and saw some paintings of cathedrals by Manet and then thought to himself, "What a tosser I am being!"
Tangent: Alan tells a story about his art teacher, Mr. Bradshaw, who on his first double art lesson was given "The Observer Book of Artists" to read for the 80 minute lesson, which was boring him, so they were asked to do a postage stamp sized painting of something they'd like to paint and Alan did a steam engine with a black line around it, but Mr. Bradshaw said there wouldn't be a black line around it, so he erased it, then Alan went to a gallery where a certain person's paintings all had black lines around them. Phill said they were from the artist, "Bradshaw".
Tangent: Phill and Hugh mock William Hogarth for only being famous for his roundaboutmarker on the A4marker.
Tangent: One of Stephen's friends was at a dinner party with Anthony Burgess and said "What do you think of Jean Genet?" and he replied "Masturbator and excremental narcissist."
Tangent: The panellists were offered 50 points if they knew who used to drive André the Giant to school. The answer was Samuel Beckett, who to Phill's surprise, also featured in Wisden as a cricketer and is the only Nobel Prize winner who has ever gone in the book. André also had a growth problem which couldn't be stopped, so he kept on growing and even had 13-inch wrists.


General Ignorance:
Tangent: During the stage of the Tour de France that Hugh did, the leader of the race, Alexander Vinokourov was kicked out of the race that night for blood doping.


Episode 6 "Fakes & Frauds"

Broadcast date:
  • 30 January 2009


Recording date:
  • 12 May 2008


Panellists:


Theme:
  • As part of the theme, each of the panellists began the show by holding up a mask (of one of the other three) over their face.


Topics:
  • The panel are asked to identify what is making their buzzer noises.
Jimmy's camera-like sound is the Australian Superb Lyrebird, an animal which can mimic almost any noise. (Forfeit: Camera)
Marcus's car alarm-like sound is also a superb lyrebird. (Forfeit: Car Alarm)
Sean's chainsaw-like sound is yet again a superb lyrebird.
Alan's telephone-like sound really is a telephone. (Forfeit: Lyrebird)
Tangent: Water softens your facial hair better than shaving foam.
Tangent: There is a story of a bearded lady who wanted to marry a contortionist, but the contortionist did not want to do so. He could not face living with a bearded lady, but at the same time if she shaved they would lose their main source of income. The problem was solved when the woman shaved off her beard and got lots of tattoos, becoming the first tattooed lady.
Tangent: Samuel Gumpertz was the most famous freak show owner on Coney Islandmarker. His freaks included Ursa the Bear Girl, Bonita the Irishmarker Fat Midget, Lionel the Dog-Faced Boy and Schrief Afendl the Human Salamander. According to legend, salamanders can survive a fire.
Tangent: Arthur Furguson, a Scottishmarker actor was a similar con man. He tricked an Americanmarker tourist into buying Nelson's Columnmarker, along with the lions for £6,000. He then also pretended to sell the Eiffel Tower for scrap to an American. He then travelled to the United States where he "sold" the White Housemarker to an American. He eventually got rumbled when he tried to sell the Statue of Libertymarker to an Australian.
Tangent: In 2008, unemployed bankrupt lorry driver Tony Lee conned businessmen Terry Collins and Marcel Boekhoorn out of £1,000,000 into thinking they were buying the Ritz Hotelmarker.
  • The panel are asked to carry out some detective work. Some buxom women are leaving the telephone exchange with large suitcases and are jangling. They asked whether the jangling is coming from either the telephone exchange, the suitcases or their bosoms. The answer is the bosoms, where the women had hidden money they had stolen from the exchange. In Miamimarker in 1950, the women in charge of collecting the money from the exchange discovered that as long as they had not put the money in the counting machines that were inside the suitcases, they could steal the money and the telephone company would have no idea how much money was taken. Hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of loose change was stolen by these women. When they were caught, one newspaper ran with the headline: "JUSTICE AS ELASTIC AS THE ITEMS IN WHICH THEY CARRIED THEIR LOOT, SNAPPED BACK TODAY ON MEMBERS OF MIAMI'S BRASSIER BRIGADE".
Tangent: The panel comment on how today's tabloid newspapers would cover the story, with Alan commenting about the kind of coverage it would get on Page Three. One of his favourite such reports concerned a Page Three girl who was happy that Saddam Hussein had been captured. Sean does a graphic mime of the girl liking her breasts, to which Stephen claims he can do the same. When Sean asks if he can stick a pencil under his bosom, Stephen claims that he can fit Colin Montgomerie under them.
  • There is no trick to sword swallowing. The most common medical complaint from sword swallowers is sore throats. According to the Society of Sword Swallowers, a professional sword swallower must swallow a sword that is no longer than 61cm, but no shorter than 40 cm, otherwise it's not recognised. The only real trick is being able to control your gag reflex. Sword swallowing has been practised for over 4,000 years.
Tangent: Sean claims that he gags when he puts his contact lenses on. He also jokingly claims that if you pull the tail of a Pekingese dog, its eyes pop out.


General Ignorance:
  • New London Bridgemarker is in Arizonamarker because it was brought by Robert P. McCulloch as a tourist attraction for his new settlement at Lake Havasumarker. It is the third biggest tourist attraction in America. Old London Bridge had been crossing the River Thames for 600 years by the time McCulloch brought New London Bridge. Because there were so many buildings and shops on Old London Bridge, it was quicker to cross the river by ferry than crossing the bridge. (Forfeit: He Thought He Was Buying Tower Bridgemarker)
  • If you went to the shops to buy butter but could not find any, you cannot buy margarine to replace it, because it is not sold in Britainmarker. The UK Spreads Association, formerly the Margarine and Spreads Association claim that there is currently no margarine on sale in Britain. Margarine is white in colour and is between 80 and 90% fat. In the United States, dairy lobbies tried to prevent margarine going on sale. In some states like New Hampshiremarker where the lobby was very powerful, they insisted that margarine should be coloured red to stop people from buying it. (Forfeit: Margarine)
  • There are 613 commandments in the Bible. In the list of what is commonly referred to as the Ten Commandments, there are in fact 14 different commandments mentioned in Exodus and Deuteronomy. But, if you were to include all of the other commandments listed in the Bible, there would be 613. Less well known commandments include: "You shall not suffer a witch to live", "You shall never vex a stranger" and "Whosoever lies with a beast shall be surely put to death". The main reason why it's believed that there are 10 is because that some of the commandments are divided. (Forfeit: 10, 9, 8)
Tangent: Stephen tells a story about an angel who goes to deliver the Ten Commandments to people on Earth. The Frenchmarker do not want them because they forbid adultery, the Germansmarker do not want them because they forbid murder and the Italiansmarker do not want them because they forbid stealing. When the angel goes to the Jews, they ask how much the commandments are. When the angel says they are free, the Jews say, "We'll take ten".
Tangent: Sean argues that the commandment "Thou shall not kill" should be the most important.
  • When a person flips a coin, there is a 51% chance it will land on the side that was facing upwards at the start. This is because coins obey the laws of mechanics and its flight is determined by their initial conditions. (Forfeit: 50/50)
Tangent: The claims that if you did the coin toss 100 times, it wouldn't end up 51/49. Stephen then claims that tossing it 100 times wouldn't be sufficient enough for a proper test.
Tangent: Sean's problem that it's just as likely that 1 to 6 would come out in the National Lottery, as well as any other 6 numbers, which he claims could happen because "it's a lottery".


QI XL extras:
Tangent: Parrots, Myna birds, and drongos are other examples of talking birds. Drongos can mimic the calls of other birds, and also knows which call to mimic when it is with another bird. The reason why the word "Drongo" is an insult in Australia comes from a 1920s racehorse which lost almost every race it entered. Sean complains that race horses are never given proper first names. However, there are in fact racehorses called Brigadier Gerard and Simon.
Tangent: The most number of words spoken by a single bird is 1,728, by a budgerigar called Puck in 1995.
Tangent: Alan tells a joke about a race horse. A white horse goes into a bar and the landlord says that he has a a drink named after him. The horse says, "What, Eric?"
Tangent: It is said that one of the most famous faces of the 18th century was Lydia Pinkham, whose face was printed on the bottles of her "Vegetable Compound" tonic. As it was alcoholic, it became popular in the US during prohibition. Pinkham inspired the song "Lily the Pink" by The Scaffold.
  • The scandal of "Mrs. Pankhurst" and the rhubarb jam resulted in a jam factory being established. Raspberry jam was popular in between the 19th and early 20th centuries, but as it was expensive fake jams were made. Rhubarb was the best, but sometimes cheaper versions made from sweetened turnips. Fake wooden pips were made in order to make the jam look more realistic. The trade was so successful, that making the pips were a profitable trade. However, mainly female sweatshop labour was used to make the pips. Sylvia Pankhurst, a social reformer and leader of the suffragette movement, was so shocked by the treatment of women in factories that she set up her own factory making real jam during World War I. She was erroneously named "Mrs." Pankhurst in this episode.
Tangent: In America, "Jam" is referred to as "Jelly". Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are popular in the USA.
Tangent: When monkeys were used in adverts such as the PG Tips adverts, peanut butter was put onto the roofs of the monkeys' mouths for the voice actors. Jimmy claims that this is how they make "Hollyoaks".
  • If the King of Syracuse calls you in the bathtub and claims that he has problems with his tiara, the thing to shout is "Eureka!" This was shouted by Archimedes when he discovered that you can tell the volume of an object by putting it in water and seeing how much water flows out of bath. A tainted tiara is less dense than one made solely of gold, so Archimedes could see that the tiara had been tainted with.
  • Stephen uses a series of statements to describe one of the members of the panel. However, he instead uses Barnum statements (or personal validation fallacy) to describe everyone. Barnum statements are general statements used by psychics and mediums. They include "rainbow statements", "vanishing negative" and the "escape hatch". They are also known as Forer questions, named after psychologist Bertram R. Forer, who died in 2000, who gave his students a questionnaire of such questions. All the responses were the same.
  • The Vegetable Lamb of Tartary was a mythical half-sheep half-plant creature created in the 16th century to describe how cotton spread.
Tangent: Tartary is a region in the Far East near Mongoliamarker, inhabited by the Tatars. Marcus jokes that he thinks that a "Tartary" is another name for a brothel.


Episode 7 "Fingers & Fumbs"

Broadcast date:
  • 6 February 2009


Recording date:
  • 5 May 2008


Panellists:


Buzzers:


Theme:
  • Anyone who said the word "fuck" on the show would forfeit 10 points, but they could win half of them back if they beat Stephen on a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. However, if they lost to Stephen, they would be forfeited another 10 points. Incidentally, this was taken out of the show at the time of its broadcast, but shown in the XL version. Stephen never won a single game.


Topics:
  • Fargling is the Americanmarker version of Rock, Paper, Scissors. According to the New Scientist, the best opening move in Rock, Paper, Scissors is scissors, because many believe that rock is a good opener, so they pick paper. Jo suggests you should play with a Saudimarker shoplifter as they will always pick rock. Phill then suggests not playing with Abu Hamza, as he will always do "question mark", because of his hook.
  • The panellists are asked to put their pencils in their mouths. Phill and Dara are asked to put them between their teeth and Jo and Alan are asked to put them between their lips. They are then asked if "Quack" or "Moo" is funnier. The answer is "quack", this is because when you say a word with a letter "k" in it, it forces you to smile. According to psychologists, this is due to facial feedback.
  • A duck's quack can echo. This was proven by a man at Salford Universitymarker, who put a duck in a reverberation chamber. (Forfeit: It Doesn't Echo)
  • The ideal way to kiss a Frenchmanmarker depends on which area of France you are in. If you are in the central or southern France, it is 2 kisses and in the north, it is 4 kisses. In Belgiummarker and Hollandmarker, it's 3 kisses. It's 5 kisses, if you are kissing the person in Corsicamarker, which leads to Stephen telling the joke, "Can you tell me what person kisses 5 times?", the answer being "Course, I can (Corsican)". In America, it's strictly 1 cheek, because they're baffled by the Europeans doing any more than one. In Spainmarker, you have to the kiss the person on the right cheek first.
Tangent: According to Alan, the best way to kiss a person in the United Kingdommarker if you're unsure about how many times to do it, is to kiss them while cupping their genitals, because they won't mind.
Tangent: In 1819, a Germanmarker travel guide to Londonmarker says that the kiss of friendship between men is strictly avoided in Britain as inclining towards the sin regarded in Englandmarker as more abominable than any other.
Tangent: Jo coughs while drinking some water, which leads her to ask if there is a facility for men to "wet themselves" when they cough. Phill and Stephen then point out that it's more likely that they do a little poo if it happens. You are less likely to wear paler clothing as you get older.
Tangent: Alan points out that you are more likely to wet yourself if you dream about going to the toilet, which then leads to him admitting to wetting the bed after having a dream about him being on a boat with Elvis Presley. Stephen then reveals that Elvis wore nappies in his final days.
  • You can tell if people are criminals by looking at them. It's achieved by using physiognomy, which was dictated by Aristotle. There is also the famous phrenology head of Lorenzo Niles Fowler, which points out emotional and cognitive parts of the head.
  • Each of the panellists are then given their phrenological descriptions:
    • Alan – Curly hair signifies someone who is "dull of apprehension", soon angry and given to lying and mischief. The distance between the eyebrows signifies hard-hearted, envious, close and cunning, addicted to cruelty more than love.
    • Dara – He who has a large full forehead and a little round with all, destitute of hair, or at least that has little on it is bold, malicious, high-spirited, full of choler, apt to transgress beyond bounds, yet of good wit and apprehensive.
    • Phill – He whose hair grows thick on his temples and his brow is by nature, simple, vain, luxurious, lustful, credulous, clownish in his speech and conversation, double chin shows appeaseable disposition, a great supplanter and secret in all your actions.
    • Jo – One whose hair is of reddish complexion is for the most part proud, deceitful, detracting, venerous and full of envy.
Tangent: In Melbourne Gaolmarker, there are casts of Ned Kelly and all the other murderers in the building.
Tangent: In Macbeth, King Duncan famously said, "There's no art to find the mind's construction in the face."
  • The Thatcher effect is an idea of face perception. It involves duplicating a picture of Margaret Thatcher and putting them both upside down. One of the pictures is unaltered, but the other has had the eyes and the mouth inverted, so when it returns to normal, it makes the face look deranged. This is an example of how when we see faces the right way up, we know where the derangements are, but when its upside down, it's harder to recognise. This was conceived by Peter Thompson at the University of Yorkmarker. Dara points out that the only real time when this information could be used is if you're in the middle of doing a soixante-neuf.
Tangent: Jo claims that as soon as Thatcher became "Lady Thatcher", it sounded like a device for removing pubic hair.
Tangent: The Thatcher effect is also demonstrated with a duplicated picture of Alan, one of which is normal and one of which has inverted eyes and mouth, likewise.
Tangent: To test their facial recognition skills, the panellists are then shown pictures of Mars, a piece of toast and a picture of a sonogram. Inside them there are pictures of the Madonna, Marlene Dietrich and Jesus.


General Ignorance:
  • You can tell the size of a person's hands by looking at a person's feet, because they are inproportionate in terms of size. Shoe sizes in Britain are measure in barleycorns, which is equal to a third of an inch. It's believed that many people working in shoe shops are not aware of this fact. (Forfeit: The Size Of His Shoes, The Size Of His Penis)
Tangent: Dara complains about not being able to get size 13 shoes anywhere.
  • There are no muscles in your fingers, only tendons. The nearest muscles are found in the hand and the forearm. A way to find this out is to make a spider-shape with your hand, retracting your middle finger. You should be able to wiggle all the fingers, except the ring finger, because it shares a tendon with the middle finger. Correction: It can be argued that there are thousands of tiny muscles in the fingers, which are used to cause you hairs stand up on end or make your blood vessels contract. (Forfeit: 1)
  • It's easier to frown than smile, because it takes 12 muscles to smile and only 11 to frown.
Tangent: Alan tries to do a smiling-frown face. Phill exclaims that he resembles his altered 'Thatcher effect' picture. Alan retorts that he is currently using 23 muscles and then sticks up his middle finger at Phill, pointing out he was still using 23.
Tangent: Alan complains about people who say "Cheer up!" to him when he's pensive.


QI XL extras:
Phill's fuck Forfeit: By saying fuck, Phill and Stephen played Rock, Paper, Scissors, in which they both picked scissors, so it was a draw.
Tangent: In Indiamarker and Indonesiamarker, they use animals to play Rock, Paper, Scissors. The animals are ant, human and elephant. Elephant beats human, human beats ant and ant beats elephant, because like mice, elephants would be afraid of ants because of their small size.
Dara's fuck Forfeit: By saying fuck, Dara and Stephen played Rock, Paper, Scissors, in which they both picked scissors, so again, it was a draw.
Tangent: Alan wonders if the reason why there is so much oestrogen in the water supply and thinks it's because men are becoming more impotent and are turning gay. This leads to Stephen questioning why he has such big "man bosoms". Alan then states that so many women are on the Pill, that they urinate oestrogen into the water.
Tangent: Jo claims that in Rigby and Peller, there is a woman with an Austrianmarker accent, who can tell the size of your bosoms just by looking at them. She then asked Jo to take her top off and said, "Not as bad as I first imagined!"
Tangent: Dara reveals (thanks to his wife being a urologist) that there is a part of the urethra that curves down before it goes back, so you normally go back into the toilet at night after "doing your business", so that you can shake the remnants that have been expelled from the bladder, but caught in the "U-shape".
Phill's "F*#@" Forfeit: By saying the F word, Phill and Stephen played Rock, Paper, Scissors for the second time, in which as before, they both picked scissors, so again, it was a draw.
Tangent: Stephen refers to Yorkmarker as "the largest plastic-bottom lake in Europe", because one of his friends, who went to the University of York, kept on mentioning to his friends that York is "the largest plastic-bottom lake in Europe", despite the fact that it's such an uninteresting fact.
Phill's "F*#@" Forfeit: By saying the F word, Phill and Stephen played Rock, Paper, Scissors for the third time. After Alan suggested that one of them played rock, Stephen chose paper and Phill picked scissors, so Phill won.
Tangent: 90% of all the people who go to the Louvremarker in Parismarker go straight to the Mona Lisa, spend less than 3 minutes there and then leave the building.
Tangent: The University of Amsterdammarker used emotion recognition software to analyse the smile, which deduced that she was 83% happy, 9% disgusted, 6% fearful and 2% angry. She was less than 1% neutral and less than 0.25% surprised.


General Ignorance:
Tangent: Phill argues that the organ, isn't strictly speaking an organ, because its method of playing makes it more like a xylophone, but Stephen points out that it can't strictly be a xylophone, because "xylos" is the Greek for wood.
Dara's "F*#@" Forfeit: By saying the F word, Dara and Stephen played Rock, Paper, Scissors for the second time. Stephen chose scissors and Dara picked rock, so Dara won.
Alan's "F*#@" Forfeit: By saying the F word, Alan and Stephen played Rock, Paper, Scissors. Stephen chose scissors and Alan picked rock, so Alan won.


Episode 8 "Fashion"

Broadcast date:
  • 13 February 2009


Recording date:
  • 4 June 2008


Panellists:


Buzzers:


Theme:
  • The panellists are challenged to create a catchphrase using 19th century catchphrases or catchphrases that they know of.
    • Alan – "Has your mother sold her mangle?"
    • Clive – "Who are you?"
    • Rich – "You're dumber than a bag of wet mice!"
    • Reginald – "Do what you do best."
    • Stephen – "I can come in any trousers I like!"


Topics:
  • The most disastrous haircut ever was the haircut taken by the 13th century king, Louis VII of France. His queen was Eleanor of Aquitaine. He was very religious and was heavily involved with the monks, who forced to cut his hair off. So, Eleanor of Aquitaine divorced him, with the haircut being mentioned in the divorce proceedings amongst other things. Eleanor then left for Englandmarker, along with all her kingdoms and her wealth, she married Henry II and started The Hundred Years' War, so essentially the haircut begun the Hundred Years' War. Correction: As Henry II, Louis VII and Eleanor died 100 before the Hundred Year's War began, it is not a direct cause for the war.
Tangent: Rich jokes about the origins of the Phillips Head Screw.
Tangent: Louis VII was told that to cure his illness, he needed to have sex, but because he was so abstinent, he hadn't had any. So, he asked for the queen, but she was to far away, so he had to have sex with someone in the castle or he would die. So, rather than live as an adulterer, he decided he would die "chaste".
Tangent: The Simpsons refer to the Hundred Years' War as "Operation Speedy Resolution".
Tangent: Rich and Alan try to help Gábor make some money out of the Gömböc, by turning them into salt and pepper shakers and pitching the idea on Dragons' Den.
Tangent: If life began on January 1st and where we are now is the end of the year, the dinosaurs would start at December 5th and became extinct on December 24th. Humans would appear at a few minutes before midnight on December 31st.
Tangent: "Saurus" was Ancient Greek slang for penis, because saurus means lizard and that was how they described their penis. Thesaurus, which isn't Greek means "treasure house". Hence, Stephen likes to refer to his bottom as his "treasure house".


General Ignorance:
Tangent: Reginald makes a claim that the Michelin star answer couldn't be London, because the United Kingdommarker makes Marmite, which he claims tastes like a naked man with hairy legs in your kitchen. Stephen points out that the argument comes from someone whose country makes spray-on cheese. Reginald also claims that putting Marmite on any food fucks it up.


QI XL extras:
Tangent: When Norwich City got promoted to the Premier League and the matches got sold out for every game, the loyal fans sang out "Where woz you when we woz crap?" Alan remembers going to Norwichmarker and the fans did a song about sheep-shagging, which was returned by the Norwich fans with a 9-verse song. Stephen went to a match at Brighton & Hove Albion, where the Brighton fans sang "You're better than us! We're crap, crap, crap!"
Tangent: Bennett once tipped a railway porter £341,000, because he hated having huge amounts of cash on him as it was uncomfortable.
Tangent: Gerald Ratner famously said: "We also do cut-glass sherry decanters complete with six glasses on a silver-plated tray that your butler can serve you drinks on, all for £4.95. People say, "How can you sell this for such a low price?" I say, because it's total crap." That speech wiped £500million of his shares. He then claimed that his earrings were "cheaper than an M&S prawn sandwich but probably wouldn't last as long."
Tangent: Wigs are being put out of service in Britishmarker courts, except in criminal courts, where they're still allowed. They also have to wear 2 pairs of tights because Queen Victoria was offended by seeing the hairs stick out.
Tangent: The reason why the robes worn by the barristers are black, because Queen Anne died as they were about to change the colour, so the court went into mourning and they never got round to changing it.
Tangent: Reginald tells about a story he was told about a British guy wearing corduroy and was being told about it, since he was Americanmarker and so many others then tried to explain to him what it was and a girl even brought down a corduroy jacket to show him what it is. He says he went along with it because he likes "the warm look on white people's faces when they feel like they're teaching you something". Corduroy was restricted to royalty, when it was first used. It's derived from the French "corde du roi", meaning "cord of the king".
  • An example of a living fossil is the Lomatia tasmanica, or the "King's Holly", which is 43,600 years old. A genetically identical fossil that is near it is a Pleistocene, which is millions of years old. Because of this, it's possible that they hold the secret to "eternal life", since they have survived for a long time. The term "living fossil" was what Charles Darwin used to describe the duck-billed platypus and is also used to describe crocodiles and coelacanths. It means that they aren't identical to their fossil predecessors. An example of one that is identical to its predecessor
Tangent: Ginkgo biloba is another living fossil, which is used by herbalists as a memory enhancer.


General Ignorance:
  • The macaroni, as mentioned in the song, Yankee Doodle, was another name for a dandy. The song was written by a British person, who claimed that the Yanks were dumb and showed that if you take someone that is supposed to be an insult, you throw it back in the oppressor's face.


Episode 9 "The Future"

Broadcast date:
  • 20 February 2009


Recording date:
  • 6 May 2008


Panellists:


Buzzers:


Theme:
  • All panellists wore a silver sash. The set was decorated with rockets and the gap around the "i" in the QI magnifying glass was covered with flashing lights.


Topics:
Tangent: There are 4 known forces. They are gravity, electromagnetism, the nuclear strong force, which holds nuclei together and the nuclear weak force, which causes radioactivity. They are all of a similar strength, except gravity, which is incredibly weak, as demonstrated by a pin being held onto a fridge magnet by the electromagnetism deflecting the force of gravity. Ben tries to explain a reasoning before he is interrupted by Sean.
Tangent: There is a theory that all matter has its corresponding antimatter, which leads to Stephen believing that Rob and Ben could be living proof of the theory.
  • According to the laws of physics, nothing forbids time travel, but there is a thing called the grandfather paradox, which states that if you killed your grandfather, it could never happen because you could not have existed in the first place. There is also a belief that time travel could be initiated by the Large Hadron Collider, because like telephones, you need a time machine at both ends, otherwise it wouldn't work.
Tangent: Sean argues that physics can't be explained to ordinary people unless a machine could prove it like Michael Faraday with electricity.
Tangent: A discussion about why kids always talk about having "hoverboots".
Tangent: Rob claims that because of his "limited talents", he would be a revelation in those times, just by reading silently, but Stephen points out that the text would be in Latin, but suggests he could do his impression of Ronnie Corbett instead.
Tangent: Rob argues that the call centres are invading the country right now and Ben adds that cameras are also invading the country as well. This leads to Rob and Ben admitting to liking each other, which in turn leads to QI's first gay kiss.
Tangent: Esperanto, a constructed language has only 900 words, no irregular verbs and takes a year less to learn fluently than any other language. "Saluton" means "hello", "Ĉu vi parolas Esperanton?" means "Do you speak Esperanto?" and "mia kusenveturilo estas plena de angiloj" means "my hovercraft is full of eels" (a reference to an episode of Monty Python).


General Ignorance:
  • The distance of the horizon is worked out by using the formula (with d being distance in miles and h being height in feet):
: d = \sqrt{1.5h}
This normally means, when standing at sea level, the horizon is roughly away from you.
Tangent: In Hawaiimarker, instead of fog and smog, they have vog, which is volcanic fog.


QI XL extras:
Tangent: A discussion about stripping old wallpaper and finding things put on by previous owners of houses. It was also common for a barrel of beer to be buried under the cement in house that had stoops or stairs.
Tangent: According to the equivalence principle, there have to be aliens, which leads to an argument between Rob, Ben & Stephen, where Stephen proves that because humans exist, there has to be alien life. Stephen also tells everyone watching who believes in astrology to stop watching the show NOW!
Tangent: Ben talks about the Fermi paradox, by Enrico Fermi, which describes the whereabouts of all alien life. Stephen Hawking quoted Fermi and pointed out that nothing in physics prevents time travel might not strictly speaking be true, because there are certain physical laws that are non-reversible such as the second law of thermodynamics. Ben tries to explain by saying that if you had a picture of a glass and a picture of a broken glass, you could never put the picture of the broken glass ahead of the picture of the normal glass, leading to a discussion about warped space and wormholes.
Tangent: Ben discusses Einstein's General Theory of Relativity, and gives the example that if you were to travel in a spaceship near to the the speed of light, it could take only one minute for you, while on Earth, four years could pass.
Tangent: Ben explains to Sean the inner workings of a telephone.
  • A building called the Corn Market in Windsormarker, built by Sir Christopher Wren, who originally took over from a man called Fitz, had 4 pillar in it, because bureaucrats refused to have them removed, saying that they had to be there. So, Wren deliberately put a gap in-between the roof and the pillar as proof that weren't needed, but today tiles are forced into the gaps. (Forfeit: To Hold The Roof Up, To Stop The Roof From Falling)
Note: The alarm didn't actually sound off for "To Stop The Roof From Falling", but it's clearly visible on screen.
Tangent: When he was in Singapore in 1988, Alan was asked by a local, "You Lick Astrey?", which Stephen thought he said "Lick arse, please", which was actually someone asking him if he was Rick Astley.
Tangent: Rob claims the most mysterious language in the world is Welsh, where mini golf is known as "golf mini".
Tangent: There is also the invented Klingon language, devised by Marc Okrand. Amongst the words translated into Klingon are "transporter ioniser unit" and the "bridge" of a ship, but not for a bridge over water. There are also words for "Hamlet" and "To be, or not to be", as proved by The Klingon Hamlet.


General Ignorance:
  • Between 2000 and 2005, 0% of Guyanamarker's rainforest was cut down, because every tree pulled down is immediately replaced with a new one. It's also the only South American country with a cricket team, mainly because they speak English. Correction: The South American country Surinamemarker also plays cricket, after it was introduced to them by the Indians.
  • The Forth Railway Bridgemarker will have its paintwork completed in 2012, thanks to a new mixture of paint and epoxy resin, which will last for between 25 and 40 years. (Forfeit: Never)


Episode 10 "Flora & Fauna"

Broadcast date:
  • 27 February 2009


Recording date:
  • 20 May 2008


Panellists:


Theme:


Buzzers:
  • John – Lion noise
  • Jimmy – Wolf noise
  • Jo – Elephant noise
  • Alan – Cat and dog fighting each other noise


Topics:
Tangent: Alan reveals the time when he had some fleas in his house. He claims that Rentokil quoted him £600, but a mate did it for £40. The biggest destroyer of fleas is vacuum cleaners, not exterminators.
Tangent: Stephen brings up the notion that Jo and John might be related.
  • The only fish that lives in a tree is the killifish, found in the mangrove swamps of Floridamarker and Belizemarker. When the swamps shrink, they go up the grooves in the tree and live there. It's also the only vertebrate that is hermaphrodite and can self-fertilise, but not quite in the asexual reproduction way. There are 1,270 species of killifish.
  • Flamingos stand on one leg, so they can go to sleep. Whichever leg is raised, that half of the flamingo goes to sleep in a torpid state, which lowers the blood flow and couldn't sustain itself while asleep. When they've had enough sleep, they swap the legs over.
  • As mentioned in the "B" series, the reason that flamingos are pink is because they eat blue-green algae, which is full of keratinoids. In zoos they give the flamingos supplements to make them pink. They can drink boiling water, because they live near to geysers, which leads Alan to claim that they're the only living thing that can eat a McDonald's apple pie. (Forfeit: Because They Eat Prawns)
  • The panellists hear a noise made by Natterjack Toads. When the toads get sexually excited, they leap on anything if it's male or female, but if it's a male, the toad that it's leapt on will make a noise, meaning that it wants the toad to get off. 20 tonnes of toad lose their lives in road accidents each year. They are being limited by the construction of toad tunnels. The reason why so many are killed is because their mating ponds are at the other side of the road and since they have travelled there many times before, they just follow the same route.
Tangent: There is no definitive difference between a frog and a toad, but toads live drier lives and have drier skin.
Tangent: Alan's Alsatian once found a frog in her water bowl and informed her sleepy master, by removing his bed sheet.
Tangent: In 2005, exploding toads caused havoc in the mating season in Hamburgmarker. They expanded to 3 times their normal size, because they were being attacked by crows. In one move, crows would pull out the toad's liver through the chest using their beak, which would in turn cause the toad to puff themselves up to intimidate them and their intestine would go through the hole and increase to a high pressure, giving them a fatal hernia.
Tangent: It's unclear if there was ever a Yorkshiremarker sport where ferrets were put up people's trousers, known as ferret legging, but it has since been created. They are also used in pet therapy, because they are proven to be friendly animals. Interacting with them reduces stress hormone and they help the elderly, and children recovering from severe illnesses.


General Ignorance:
Tangent: When Alan was a student, some snails left a massive slime trail in their kitchen, yet he did nothing about it.
  • A mushroom is neither a plant or an animal, but it's more closely related to an animal. (Forfeit: Plant, Animal)


QI XL extras:
Tangent: The back legs of a flea are so powerful, that if a human had legs as powerful, they'd be able to jump the Eiffel Towermarker, because they're 80 times more powerful. Fleas also have 2 penises, or to be official, one penis with a helping aid, like a Swiss Army knife, or a rabbit sex toy. Medieval representations of Satan depict him with 2 penises.
  • You could do anything to a naïve rhinoceros, because it refers to the zoological term of naïveity, which refers to animals that have been moved to an ecosphere that it has not been prepared for. The example being that a new species arrives on an island and causes havoc, like a dodo or any animal that goes to Bermudamarker, because it doesn't experience fear, as it uses it up energy, and if you lived in an environment where everyone was friendly, you'd gradually lose your sense of fear. So, when birds came to Bermuda, they'd think that everyone was friendly, so humans could just pick them and put them into a cooking pot.
Tangent: Alan tells the story of a boy at his school who caught frogs and skinned them before letting them go. You also had to leave a bit around their eyes, so they can see.
Tangent: It is believed that it had rained toads and Jo claimed that it rained fish in Knightonmarker, Walesmarker, because a collection of fish was picked up by a mini-tornado from the river and it rained on the town.
Tangent: Stephen tells a joke about a librarian, a hen and an frog, which leads to Alan and Jimmy telling library-related jokes. Then Stephen retells the reason why people think all frogs go "ribbit", which is because that the only frog that goes "ribbit", the Pacific Tree Frog, which lives in Hollywoodmarker, which has been used on films to denote the sound of frogs all around the world.
  • A fairy ring is a ring of mushrooms. They grow round trees and when they retreat, they leave a ring of discoloured grass. They are claimed to be magic, because if a young lady goes into a fairy ring on a May Day morning and washes her face with the dew of the grass, she will turn into a hag. They're also claimed to create es, but they aren't created by dancing fairies.
  • The pygmy hog-sucking louse, which lives off the Pygmy Hog is being threatened, because the Pygmy Hog is dying out and since there are only 150 of them left, there will be fewer lice left, as they need the hog so that they can live off them. It's the only species of louse that is critically endangered.
Tangent: Body lice, which only live in clothing, are only 70,000 years old, which means that humans first wore clothing 70,000 years ago. Human fleas are also dying out because of vacuum cleaners, like the other fleas mentioned earlier.
Tangent: Jimmy's claim that people only save the animals that are cute, small and fluffy, as demonstrated by the Giant Panda, being the symbol of the World Wildlife Fund.


General Ignorance:
Tangent: Alan and Jimmy mock Stephen's odd sound that comes out when he finishes a question.
Tangent: Albatrosses are normally trapped in fishing nets and young albatrosses stay in the air for 10 years without landing. The reason why they stay for that long is because after that time, they have to mate and need to land, so they can lay their eggs. They dive for fish from the sea, but they don't land. They can also glide for 6 days.


Episode 11 "Film"

Broadcast date:
  • 6 March 2009


Recording date:
  • 11 June 2008


Panellists:


Theme:
  • The set is decorated with two large Oscar type statuettes (with shields instead of swords) two very large BAFTA type face masks, metal railings and a red carpet.


Buzzers:


Topics:
  • The panellists are shown a picture of a painting by Man Ray, called "Violon d'Ingres, meant as a sort of pun in the name of Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres, who was a talented painter and violinist. It's an example of "Ingres' Violin", which is someone doing something they're not famous as well as someone who does do it well, so in Ingres' case, he was a good violinist as well as a great painter.
  • The Oscar statue was created by Cedric Gibbons. In 1928, he was asked to design the statue for the new Academy Awards and he won 11 of them as art director, as well as being nominated for 36 in total. Walt Disney won the most with 26. Stephen then reveals that he made one at the factory in Chicagomarker. They're made of britannium and you have to buff it out, then they're dipped in nickel, then in gold.
Tangent: Emma is pictured with her Oscar that she won for best screenplay for Sense and Sensibility. She also won an Oscar for Howards End, as well as being nominated for The Remains of the Day, In the Name of the Father and as best actress for Sense and Sensibility. The best actor when Emma won best actress was Al Pacino. Stephen and Emma then tell the story of how Stephen could have won Emma's best screenplay Oscar, because Stephen fixed her computer with the screenplay on it.
Tangent: When Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs won an Oscar, they made an alteration by giving Walt Disney one big statuette and 7 smaller ones.
Tangent: The Canadianmarker actor Christopher Plummer worked with one of Stephen's friends in a film who met him at an airport and was told not to mention The Sound of Music and about half an hour later, he was playing Edelweiss on the piano. David also points out that the Captain in the film was a naval captain, who lives in a country with no coastline.
Tangent: Emma's father, Eric Thompson narrated a film about the small things that live in things such as hair and mattresses.
Tangent: The discussion about the advert that claims that there is more bacteria on chopping boards than toilet seats.
Tangent: At least 4 professors claim that the pink shape behind God is a transverse section of the sagittal area of the brain. It's believed that Michelangelo saw an illegal dissection of the brain and tried to put it in the painting, because one of God's greatest achievements was the brain. A museum in Oregonmarker is dedicated to replications of the brain made of fabrics.


General Ignorance:
  • A hedgehog doesn't die if its fleas are removed. It could die if you cover it in anti-flea powder, but they like their fleas. You shouldn't give a hedgehog bread or milk, because they get diarrhoea and dry out. On David Mitchell's BBC Radio 4 show, "The Unbelievable Truth", they revealed the opposite to what Stephen just said. (Forfeit: It Dies)
  • William Shakespeare mentions cricket 3 times during the 1550s, although it's the insect cricket, rather than the sport, although it did exist. This fact was also dispelled on David's show, "The Unbelievable Truth". (Forfeit: Never)
  • Head lice don't mind what type of hair they're on as long as there is an adequate blood supply. Originally, it was thought that lice fed on dirty hair, before it was changed to clean. Nits are the egg-cases of the louse, which take weeks to get rid of them. (Forfeit: Clean)
  • A flu jab works by giving you an inactive virus that helps the antibodies beat off flu. People think it actually gives you flu, so that the flu spreading around doesn't go into you. (Forfeit: By Giving You 'Flu)


QI XL extras:
Tangent: The most ubiquitous line of film dialogue in a survey of 150 films between 1938 and 1974 was "Let's get outta here!" It was used once in 84% of Hollywood films and more than once in 17%. The panellists then share the worst clichés in films, such as "Why are you telling me this?", "Don't you die on me!", "I've got a bad feeling about this!", "Is that an order, sir?", "Showtime!" and "I'm getting too old for this shit!"
Tangent: The 2 most famous Robin Hood adaptations seem to be the Errol Flynn version and the Kevin Costner version, yet Errol Flynn seems to maintain his American accent in the film.
Tangent: John reveals that Alan Rickman hates playing villains and prefers to play good guys, such as his role in Sense and Sensibility. A kid at a party asked him why he always played villains, to which he replied, "I don't play villains, I play very interesting people".
Tangent: John also mentions that the Sound of Music might have suited the aspirations of Adolf Hitler. Stephen then mentions the time that he made a film with Julie Andrews during the 1999 solar eclipse in Cornwallmarker. They watched the eclipse at the Isle of Manmarker, where they were filming and half the population watched Julie Andrews, rather than the eclipse. Alan then tells how Sky News reported the eclipse by saying that "our old friend, the Moon was getting in the way".
  • Englishmen whose surname begins with a double-"f" at the front is probably accidental, because in the 18th century, the way a capital "f" was handwritten, meant it looked like it began with a double-"f", or as Stephen puts it, "you're either Welshmarker or semi-literate thickos".
  • The panellists listen to a piece of music from Florence Foster Jenkins, who rented out Carnegie Hallmarker for recitals, because she was so rich and could have sold out 10 times over. Cole Porter became so enamoured of her, that he wrote a song for her. She even said "Some say I couldn't sing, but no-one can say that I didn't sing". She was left a lot of money when her father died and sang at Carnegie Hall at the age of 76, which sold out weeks in advance and 2,000 people were turned away at the door. Tickets cost $20, which is $400 in today's money. She made her own costumes and changed them regularly, so she asked the audience not to go away while she changed.
Tangent: Emma tells about how she'd lock the doors at the bottom of the stairs when Stephen was around so he couldn't escape when she would subsequently walk down the stairs naked, causing the normally collected Fry scream as he struggled to get away.
Tangent: Emma tells the story of John Ruskin marrying Effie Gray. On the wedding night, Ruskin didn't realise that naked women had pubic hair, so they had no sexual intercourse for 7 years, which Stephen then reveals is not true.
Tangent: The panellists discuss the Brazilian (or as Stephen calls it, a "Peruvianmarker") and bleaching "bumholes".


General Ignorance:
  • The most depressing day of the week is Wednesday. According to research, people would say Monday, but if you asked the same people over a long period of time on each separate day, it becomes Wednesday. There is a Frenchmarker joke which says that if you had a meeting with an Englishmanmarker on a Wednesday, it would screw up 2 weekends of his, because the French think the British are lazy. (Forfeit: Monday)
  • The most popular British film made by Innovia Films Ltd is cellophane, which made more than £360 million in 2008 and around the same in 2007.
Luvvie Alarm: The first citation of the word "luvvie" in the Oxford English Dictionary is made by Stephen in the 1980s.


Episode 12 "Food"

Broadcast date:
  • 20 March 2009


Recording date:
  • 28 May 2008


Panellists:


Buzzers


Theme:
  • During the first part of the episode, the panellists are asked to put which areas of taste go where on a mini tongue map that they've each been given. Officially there is no such thing as a tongue map, but the official given map from back to front is bitter, sour, salty and sweet, but since then umami, the savouriness has been discovered.


Topics:
Tangent: Discussion about bloating, constipation and farting on television.
  • An oyster can be taught how to keep closed for long periods of time. When oysters are out of water, they stay fresh, as long as they stay shut, but because of their castanet-like action, they need to filter through the nutrients that they need. The Frenchmarker managed to achieve this by hitting them with a metal rod, which made them close for long periods of time.
Tangent: When the colonists first arrived in the area around where New York Citymarker is now, they found huge oysters, but since they had no ice and they kept opening and closing all the time, they went off easily and could not be shipped anywhere. So, they moved them a little farther up the bank at each tide, which trained them by exposure to the air, so they would then stay closed for longer periods of time.
Tangent: The Mounties, or the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, as they are officially known are officially the actual police force in Canadamarker, which leads to a discussion about whether they have any unmounted police in Canada. It then leads to Jimmy believing that disabled access is a conspiracy set up by the Daleks.
Tangent: The fruit machine was eventually replaced with the plethysmograph. The male version was a sort of cock ring, while the female version is a sort of dildo used to measure lubrication. It was used up until the 1980s.
Teacher's Pet Fanfare Tangent: The man who brought the Russian service idea into restaurants was Auguste Escoffier, who invented frog legs, which Alan found out on David's radio show, The Unbelievable Truth. David also wrote a page about Escoffier for the QI Annual. Escoffier died in 1935, at the age of 62. He also founded the Ritz Hotelmarker in Parismarker and the Carlton Hotel in Londonmarker, as well as being the chef at The Savoymarker. He also invented the Peach Melba for the opera singer Dame Nellie Melba, as well as the Melba toast. Her real name was Mitchell, and her father was called David Mitchell.


General Ignorance:


QI XL extras:
Tangent: Tapeworm pills were a popular dieting method in the early 20th century, which then leads to a discussion about which end the tapeworm would be removed from, when it's fully grown. David mistakenly confuses the idea that you could roll out the tapeworm using the end of a Biro, with removing a Guinea worm by the same method.
Tangent: David believes that the stone crab could be like an apple tree, since when apples fall off the tree, new ones are created, so he believes that the crab might be a tree.
Tangent: Alan reveals that his great-uncle was in the Mounties. He only found that out after research into his family tree on You Don't Know You're Born. He had his leg blown off in World War I, then lived in Canada, before becoming Chief Constable of the Vancouvermarker section of the force, proving that because you're part of the Mounties, you don't need two legs, since the horses already have four each.
Tangent: Before going on stage, Nellie Melba believed it was good to have oral sex to improve your voice.
Tangent: Mae West famously said of all-in wrestling that "if it's all-in, why wrestle?"
Tangent: Rich reveals the astonishing way of how a man escaped jail in Mexicomarker, as seen on MythBusters. He wiped salsa on the bars for 6 years, which made the acid corrode the steel and a current was run through it, so he escaped.
  • The "Miracle of the Herrings" is to do with the sainthood of Thomas Aquinas. When the Roman Catholic Church wants to appoint holy people who have died, they make them a saint, but the Dominicanmarker Aquinas didn't mortify his flesh as you're supposed to do and he did nothing spectacular while he was alive apart from being a great philosopher. They tried to find him a miracle, but there weren't any, until on his , he was claimed to say "I fancy a herring.", but since he was by the Mediterranean Seamarker, there weren't any, so some pilchards were brought instead, and he said they were the best he'd ever had, so the Catholic Church interpreted it as "The Miracle of the Herrings", by saying that the pilchards had turned to herrings in his mouth, so he qualified for a sainthood. Currently, they are trying to fast track the sainthoods to Padre Pio and Mother Teresa. Correction: Padre Pio became a saint in 2002.
Tangent: Discussion about the Feeding of the 5,000.


General Ignorance:
Tangent: David's rant about headlines incorporating crap jokes involving their company, such as a headline about British Airways' rising profit being described as "BA's Profits Soar".
Tangent: It was believed that the Romantics used to eat off meat to give themselves crazy dreams. Byron once wrote a poem on a toilet wall, about having a "good stool", which included an example of a pathetic fallacy.


Notes



References


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