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Son of the Beach is an Americanmarker sitcom that aired from 2000 to 2002 on the FX network. The series was a spoof of Baywatch, with much of the comedy of the series based on sexual jokes, innuendo and the like. The chief joke being that the studly David Hasselhoff character is instead an average, pot-bellied and out of shape bald man, but treated exactly the same as an attractive male. Radio talk show host Howard Stern was one of the executive producers.


The show centered on the adventures of Shore Patrol Force 30 (SPF 30, a pun on the term Sun Protection Factor), led by the pasty, out of shape and clueless lifeguard Notch Johnson. The rest of his patrol consists of B.J. Cummings (the dumb, White big-chested lifeguard), Jamaica St. Croix (the dumb, African-American big-chested lifeguard), Chip Rommel (the dumb, hunky, muscular male lifeguard who is an obvious parody of Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Kimberlee Clark (the smart but flat-chested female lifeguard, and straight man of the series). Many of the plots revolved around silly action genre clich├ęs and movie parodies, with many of the feature roles played by actors and celebrities such as Mark Hamill, Alan Thicke, Erik Estrada, Gary Coleman, John Salley, Joey Buttafuoco, Patty Hearst, Adam Carolla, Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf, George Takei, Walter Koenig, Pat Morita, Anson Williams, Christopher Darden, Maureen McCormick, Lee Majors, David Arquette, RuPaul, and Dweezil Zappa.

The title is a pun on the phrase "son of a bitch." Likewise, character names are rife with puns and innuendo. Porcelain Bidet, B.J. Cummings, Jamaicamarker St. Croixmarker, Anita Massengil, and Notch Johnson all refer to some sort of double entendre, while Chip Rommel's name refers to the "Desert Fox", further punctuating the fact that the character is German, his parents being "The Rommels of Paraguay" - South America was a refuge for hunted Nazis at the close of WWII. Kimberlee Clark's name is a pun on the company Kimberly-Clark, manufacturer of paper products such as Kleenex and Kotex.


Recurring Characters

Episode list

Season 1

March 15, 2000 - September 12, 2000

  • With Sex You Get Eggroll (3/15/00)
  • Silence of the Clams (3/22/00)
  • In the G-Hetto (3/29/00)
  • Love, Native-American Style (4/5/00)
  • Two Thongs Don't Make a Right (4/12/00)
  • Fanny and the Professor (4/19/00)
  • Eat My Muffin (8/2/00)
  • Miso Honei (8/9/00)
  • South of Her Border (8/16/00)
  • Day of the Jackass (8/23/00)
  • A Star Is Boned (8/30/00)
  • Attack of the Cocktopuss (9/6/00)
  • Mario Putzo's 'The Last Dong' (9/13/00)

Season 2

March 13, 2001 - July 17, 2001

  • B.J. Blue Hawaii (3/13/01)
  • From Russia, with Johnson (3/20/01)
  • Remember Her Titans (3/27/01)
  • Rod Strikes Back (4/3/01)
  • Queefer Madness (4/10/01)
  • Light My Firebush (4/17/01)
  • Chip's a Goy (4/23/01)
  • A Tale of Two Johnsons (5/28/01)
  • It's a Nude, Nude, Nude, Nude World (6/5/01)
  • It's Showtime at the Apollo 13! (6/12/01)
  • The Island of Dr. Merlot (6/19/01)
  • The Sexorcist (6/26/01)
  • Grand Prix (7/3/01)
  • Area 69 (7/10/01)
  • Booger Nights (7/17/01)

Season 3

June 18, 2002 - October 1, 2002

  • Penetration Island (6/18/02)
  • Saturday Night Queefer (6/25/02)
  • In the Line of Booty (7/2/02)
  • Three Days of the Condom (7/9/02)
  • Witness for the Prostitution (7/16/02)
  • The Gay Team (7/23/02)
  • You Only Come Once (7/30/02)
  • Hamm Stroker's Suck My Blood (8/6/02)
  • Godfather Knows Best (8/13/02)
  • Empty the Dragon (8/20/02)
  • The Long Hot Johnson (8/27/02)
  • Taco Lips Now: Part 1 (9/17/02)
  • Jailhouse Notch: Part 2 (9/24/02)
  • Bad News, Mr. Johnson (10/1/02)

DVD release

Son of the Beach: Volume 1 was released on April 29, 2003, containing the first 21 episodes of the series (through Season 2 episode "A Tale of Two Johnsons"). The DVD also contains writer/director/cast commentary on select episodes, introductions by Timothy Stack as Notch Johnson, Too Hot for TV montages, behind the scenes featurettes, outtakes, and TV spots.

Son of the Beach: Volume 2 was released on November 11, 2008 and contains the remaining 21 episodes from the series, as well as bonus material such as new menu introductions by Timothy Stack as Notch Johnson, new behind-the-scenes footage, commentaries by the creators of the series, sexy montage highlights, cast audition tapes and a Son of the Beach table read.

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